Lying McLiarpants, or Am I Just an Idiot?

On my old blog, I posted an excellent entry asking why it is that men only have a passing acquaintance with the truth.  I know that I should not assume anything about EVERYONE, or even every man. When I meet an honest man, I will possibly accept his existence.  If he's got, you know, like a pulse and a driver's license, and is, in fact, a verifiable human, and not an elf or something. My good friend, Micheal Mann (NOT the director!), seems to be an honest man. In grade school, I learned that exceptions prove the rule.

This entry's mental health fact: BPD is focused on relationships, and my particular obsession is one that many millions of "normal" people share, that of finding a significant other.  However, with my illness comes a terrifying fear of abandonment.

Here is, I guess, the point I am making.  I have been with 2 of the many men in my life, TWICE. Both of these men, the first time around, did some of the WORST damage to my self esteem that ANY men have ever done. However, I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, KNOWING that they were Lying McLiarpants, and that they had ABSOLUTELY no compunction about hurting me. This is the ultimate case of "fool me twice, shame on ME!" because, of course, predictably, BOTH of them screwed me over again.  

What I thought was a rant at the mendacity of men, has become a wondering question, instead. Of course, I am not supposed to hold what these men did against ALL men, but against THEMSELVES?  I certainly should have. Trust should be earned, and those who betray it once will surely do so again. How far am I willing to go to earn the love of someone, regardless of whether they are worthy of me. Hopefully, not this far, ever again.